Ludocracy Now

I am a nattering nabob of negativism, obviously.  I have also been reading about Jung’s theory of Projection so I understand that these criticisms below are actually about my own writing.  Keep this in mind while you peruse this list of verboten phrases as I have been and will be guilty of using all of them.  I spend way too much time reading about board games instead of playing them and there are a handful of cliches that are like an ebony emery board rubbed against my already too dry eyes.  Would that they were banished to the annals of the board game archives but they reappear with alarming consistency.  They are enumerated below.

1) “This is a very meaty game”  — As a flexitarian, this is a very carnivonormative phrase I could do without mostly because it makes me hungry.  Also, something like quinoa would probably be a more appropriate analogy than meat.

2) “I really wanted to like this game but…” — No explanation necessary.  Although I gather “No explanation necessary” could also be an entry.

3) “Really scratches that itch”  — like we really need to encourage the stereotype of board gamers as people with poor hygiene.

4) “Dripping with theme” — Ugh.

5) “[large block quote] This.” alternatively “[large block quote] +1”  — I think the reason there is a thumb mechanism on BoardGameGeek is so you don’t need to engage in this meaninglessness.

6) “A real brain burner” — Yes.  Most board gamers are walking around with heads full of ash.  Why can’t we change this to something positive?  Like “Brain Titillator.”

7) Wait, people are writing about board games?  Forget everything I’ve said and just encourage it.  Meanwhile, I’m playing video games because I’ve been kind of an agoraphobe lately.  Here is a picture of me playing the beta build of Drox Operative and discovering a planet named Porn.